Diary of Tyson aka Iron Maiden the Child of Mercedes 🐾

Hello, I’m Tyson from England — though on stage I go by Iron Maiden. Sometimes my hoomans call me Inspector Cluzo, Peter Rabbit, or Stinky Chonk, but really, I answer only when I feel like it.

I’ve been ruling my kingdom since I was just two weeks old. My hooman cat mum, Veronika Mirgova, is a comedian who often portrays everything from a quirky gypsy woman to Indian Drama serie fun  to a stereotypical trashy English lady named Mercedes — wagging her finger and hollering “have you got a problem, has he got a problem” and “are you giving me evils” at her long-suffering rival, Bianca. Naturally, I play along as her child Iron Maiden.

Life as me is simple: Daddy is my best friend — we share a special bond, and I know I can always count on him to spoil me. I nap, demand attention, take center stage whenever guests arrive, and perfect the art of begging for treats in the neighborhood (even though I’m clearly not starving). It’s all part of the performance — I am a Diva, after all.

My favorite role? Iron Maiden, but every day is my show. And yes, I demand full pay — in the form of treats, cuddles, and unwavering devotion.

So to my fellow felines: never listen, stay lazy, stay iconic. Let your hoomans serve you. We cats deserve nothing less than worship.

— Tyson 🐾

You can follow my mum on her Insta @mirgova.veronika!